“I know it isn’t what you taught me to do, but it’s what I find works in this society: hide your anxiety about change.”- Frances (12 yrs., 10 mos.)
#asd #aspergers #autism
Frances: When I grow up, I’m going to open a stable for people who can’t afford to take horse riding lessons. (12ys/9m)
#smashingstereotypes #asd #aspergers #autism
“I’m just sitting here pondering everything that has gotten me to this point in my life. I get lost in my thoughts. It’s a good place to get lost because you will always find your way back.” (Frances, 12)
My little girl has been home from school this week because she is sick again. Though I’d much rather that she were well, I have to say that I’m loving the opportunity to listen to her speak and to answer her questions even if it goes on into the wee hours.
I recently lost my phone and returned to using my laptop.
Frances: What are you doing?
Me: I’m just trying to restore some functionality to my digital world…
Frances: It’s been an hour!!!
#asd #autism #aspergers
If I’m not mistaken, around the time of middle school is when children seem to slow down. They stop “playing” at recess, and instead they stand around talking with one another or in groups. They may go for walks. It’s quite a change when it happens.
This hasn’t happened yet for Frances. She still plays, but yesterday she said that she might only play at home from now on in order to fit in. (More on this later.)
Her bouncy energy hasn’t diminished any either, and she will still skip, instead of walking, up to someone. I love it.
Yesterday, she returned from a sleepover (at the house of a great family that I’ve mentioned before): they know Frances very well, and the older son has Aspergers.
She had gone over on Saturday immediately after her riding lesson. I’m guessing that she was her bouncy and enthusiastic self when an activity was suggested because the mum said, “Frances, you just got off a horse!”
It was said with jocularity, and Frances giggled when she told me about it.
I do hope she retains this energy for as long as possible. Speaking as a mother of “advanced age”* (🙄),I’m always hoping for more energy.
Overcoming inertia gets harder for me by the week! 😂
* that’s how a brochure, that I had received from my doctor while pregnant with Frances, actually referred to me. I was in my 30s. 🤷♀️
There has been no shortage of activity in the Pink Cup life. In October, I found myself finishing a 20-week group that I had attended with Pink Cup Sister, and while the first group was ongoing, I started a 10-week group with Frances. With all the other regular appointments, I am at that hospital (and other hospitals) very often!
In the fall, we experienced a major family emergency, and it meant that writing was very much out of the question.
So, here we are. Last night we finished off Frances’s 10-week group with a little party. Thankfully, it included pizza because I was so tired, and not having to make supper really helped me out.
So, what about Frances? She had the respiratory flu for a couple of weeks and ended up losing weight she couldn’t afford to lose (as she is tall, lanky and ‘light for her height’). Now that she is restored to better health, she is once again my beautiful blur of boundless energy.
In the group setting, I noticed that she had a little difficulty knowing when to take her turn during a card game and was noticeably resistant to another child’s helpful statement of the rules. The game was being moderated, so I appreciated the opportunity to observe her.
I noticed that, as soon as she could, Frances headed to a part of the room with toys, grabbed a large doll house and its accessories, and focussed on that activity. Once she started this solitary activity, she would answer questions but did not turn to look when doing so. The other child was a boy who wasn’t interested in doll houses, and I’m certain that Frances was relieved by this fact.
She was great with her manners, usually saying ‘thank you’ when given something. She still sometimes says, “you’re welcome” instead (which I find adorable). She does not yet use ‘thank you’ when offered something, but that is something that will come in time, I think.
She doesn’t believe that the group offered her anything useful, but, personally, I secretly disagree. At any rate, I should receive the summary report shortly. 😊