Yesterday? Yesterday was hard.
I took Frances to school. As we walked past the cubbies, she noticed each one had an invitation to a party. When we got to hers, she discovered that she didn’t have one.
“I don’t have one,” she said as students gathered near her while talking about the exciting party to which they had been invited.
It was getting to be a challenge to tune the other kids out after a while.
“Frances didn’t get an invitation,” I said to the group. “So maybe you should stop talking about the party right beside her?”
They resorted to whispering as I emptied Frances’s school bag.
“Frances isn’t invited because she’s too bossy,” the birthday boy whispered. Frances didn’t overhear, fortunately.
“I rarely get invited to parties,” she said sadly.
The school really discourages the exclusion of children from parties if it’s more than two children being invited.
In this case? All of Frances’s classmates (except for the grade ones) had been invited except her.
After school, she said, “I don’t understand. I thought he was my friend. I’m the only one who doesn’t tease him.”
So, we had a conversation, which included Pink Cup Sister, about how to know if someone’s your friend or not.
Broke. my. heart.
(While I did point out to her that she didn’t invite this particular boy to her party — just a few girls — she then pointed out that she didn’t invite all of her peers except him. I had told her not to talk about her party (which is the school policy) and I emailed the parents of invited kids in order to be discreet. I just wish the boy’s parents had been more discreet.)